Facing too many choices? Can't decide what to do next?

This is for you.

When we are stuck in indecisive mode, - trying too hard to make a choice, - we can feel paralyzed and anxious about it.

Here is the spoiler: We are trying to make that choice but we haven't decided to do so.

~ What? Hang tight...

It’s never about the choice. It’s about making the decision to make that choice.

We need to make a decision that we are going to choose something

We have to pick one option and stick with it. But we have to decide to make that pick. This is important.

You might say, "that's semantics"... but..

No.

When we are indecisive we are not struggling to make the correct choice, we are struggling with allowing ourselves to make that choice. We understand that it is potentially the wrong one, so we procrastinate.

For example, personal story,

Recently, I was struggling to pick the direction of what I wanted to do.

After being freelance developer for 12+ years, it was getting old. My burnouts happened more frequently, clients' requests irritated me more and I disliked most of my work. I got to the point where continuing working as a freelancer was bringing me anxiety and depression. I even started to dislike coding.

Despite that I had great clients, who paid on time and treated me well, I wasn't happy.

The projects were interesting - I got freedom to pick technology and implementation, but I dreaded every workday.

However, it was all my fault. I was letting this drag on for too long.

I had to decide to do something about it and pursue a different career path.

But I was stuck.

I couldn’t decide on what I wanted to switch to.

Getting a job was not an option.

In the past I’ve tried eCommerce, built a startup, attempted at a digital agency, created YouTube content and even dabbled in writing. I liked all of that. It was a perfect paradox of choice.

I couldn't pick, so I defaulted to getting web dev clients.

After going through the Fear Setting exercise (by Tim Ferriss), I changed how I make choices.

The indecisive state is a cope.

I didn’t want to make a decision, because I was avoiding responsibility for that decision.

Staying in limbo was me enabling all kinds of silly excuses. It's a very self-forgiving environment: I am still deciding, no shame if I don't have any subjective success. It's part of the "process", right?

Not deciding relieved me of all kinds of responsibility from a slight chance of making the wrong choice. Oh, being indecisive also gave me the ability to postpone taking actions without feeling any guilt about it. Non-action was fully justified. Why start something, if I didn't know what I wanted to do...

If anyone asked me what I was doing, - “I was still thinking about …”. I could give a dozen reasons why I couldn't pursue either of these choices.

Indecisiveness was also a get-out-of-jail card for any failure. Started a project, dropped it half way, - that's because, I was just playing around, still "deciding", no biggie.

Indecisiveness is a form of escapism and avoidance. If I decided on a choice, I'd have to stick through all the hard and easy that comes along. I'd have to weather the challenges and handicaps along the way.

What does "make a decision" mean after all?

So, in my personal example, I decided to stay indecisive. But I didn't make it actively, it became the default choice.

To MAKE DECISION TO DECIDE is more important than the actual choice. We can never know the consequences of our choices. The longer we ponder, the more we get addicted to analysis.

Any choice we make would bring a reasonable amount of unpredictability, uncertainty and risk.

But to make that decision to decide means stopping the excuses.

Stopping the cope. Stopping enabling. Stopping anxiety.

It means taking the responsibility and facing the choice. It means deciding to make a decision.

As silly as this sounds, maybe obvious to many, rather a large number of talented people struggle with analysis by paralysis.

My Decision

So I made a choice to build a SaaS - Market In Public.

It's about marketing and helping non-marketing builders get the word out.

I am planning to #buildInPublic and #marketInPublic